


When Castiel Met The Doctor

by kanoitrace



Series: Tumblr Fic [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Supernatural
Genre: Body Swap, Crack, Gen, nonsensical, use of confusing names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 01:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2674415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanoitrace/pseuds/kanoitrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel continued ignoring the angry, accented man, reaching to open the door. What he saw beyond was the vastness of space, stars and nebulae twinkling in the distance. Decidedly not Kansas, then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When Castiel Met The Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from pharocomics: Non-Humanity-Savvy!Cas accidentally angelpoofs onto the Tardis. Ten is in a very grumpy mood. Confusion and frustration ensue.
> 
> I make no excuses for this other than it was a prompt and I had no clue how to make it sensical.

"How did you get in there?" demanded a skinny man in a pinstripe suit. He had a distinct accent, quite different than what Castiel was used to hearing. Castiel ignored him.

He slowly took in his surroundings- computers and gadgets and metallic walls. This was not the Winchester brothers' motel room. Had he miscalculated.

"I said how did you get in here!? Hey! Don't open that!"

Castiel continued ignoring the angry, accented man, reaching to open the door. What he saw beyond was the vastness of space, stars and nebulae twinkling in the distance. Decidedly not Kansas, then.

He turned to face the angry, accented man, demanding, "How did I get here?"

"That's what I've been trying to ask you!" Angry-Accented-Man exclaimed in frustration.

Castiel turned back to look outside the room again, but no, he could not spot any celestial manifestations of his own creation. He looked back at Angry-Accented-Man. "I am meant to be at the Corn Wall Motel in Kansas. This is not it."

Angry-Accented-Man's eyebrows pulled together in befuddlement. "Obviously."

"Where is this?" Castiel asked.

Angry-Accented-Man squinted at Castiel suspiciously. "You are in the TARDIS. It stands for Time And Relative-"

"That's nice," Castiel said, no regard for the fact he'd just cut Angry-Accented-Man off. This was troubling. He was in a room in the middle of outer space. Likely this would not be conducive to his mission.

Angry-Accented-Man huffed in frustration before asking again, quite obviously miffed, "Last time I'll ask, how did you get here?" He was pointing a shiny, metallic stick at Castiel, which the angel thought seemed potentially rude, but he was still learning about proper human reactions, so perhaps he was wrong in assuming such.

Castiel eyed Angry-Accented-Man's stick blandly, responding, "I teleported."

"And how did you do that!?" demanded Angry-Accented-Man, taking a step forward and brandishing his shiny stick at Castiel. "Do you have a vortex manipulator? Don't you know how dangerous those things are!?"

"I am afraid I don't know what that is."

"Just who are you? What are you doing here?"

"My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord. I am seeking the Winchester brothers so that we may stop the coming apocalypse."

Angry-Accented-Man stilled and stared silently at him. Castiel decided he did not like having staring matches with Angry-Accented-Man quite near as much as he appreciated having them with Dean. Maybe his eyes just weren't a pleasing enough shade. After all, they weren't even green.


	2. When Castiel Became The Doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from pharocomics: Castiel and the Tenth Doctor switch bodies and somehow get zapped back to their respective "universes." How will Cas operate the Tardis?! How is Ten going to handle the suspicious Winchesters and the chaos in (S4-5) heaven?! WHO WILL SAVE THEM FROM THIS UNFORTUNATE SITUATION?!
> 
> Once again, I have no excuses.

This was not ideal, Castiel decided. He probably should have at least listened to Angry-Accented-Man's explanation of what "TARDIS": stood for. Though, in Castiel's defene, he had not known that we would have any need of knowing such things. He actually wasn't even sure how it had happened. Angry-Accented-Man had not taken to Castiel's admission of being an angel well, as he had then begun waving about his shiny stick and yelling about " _Weeping Angels_." If Castiel had to guess, he figured that's about when it "all went to hell" as Dean would say. Because now Angry-Accented-Man was gone, as was Jimmy Novak's body, leaving Castiel behind in Angry-Accented-Man's body, holding his ridiculous shiny, metal stick. As he turned it in his hand, the tip exploded into multiple parts and began emitting a whirring noise.

_This was ridiculous._

* * *

This was not right. He hadn't regenerated... There had been no regeneration energy! Yet here he was in new skin! And without his TARDIS... There was nothing acceptable about this turn of events, not least of all because he was faced with two hulking giants staring at him in confusion while he had nothing to defend himself with- no TARDIS and no sonic screwdriver.

"Cas, buddy, you alright?" asked The-Hulkingest-Giant-Of-Them-All.

Less-Hulking-Giant was staring at him in consternation. "Where the hell you been, man? You said you were gonna be here over an hour ago. Angel mojo on the fritz or something."

The Doctor went to tell them he had no clue what they were talking about, but stopped about two words in. Apparently he's swallowed sandpaper at some point if the voice that came out of him was any indication. Clearing his throat, he bravely marched on- "What have you done to me?" He held his chin high, full of defiance.

Both giants gave each other a startled look, then turned back to stare at the Doctor as if he'd grown a second head.

"Did uh... Did the other angels get to you? Is that why you took so long?" asked The-Hulkingest-Giant-Of-Them-All.

"Was it Zachariah?" snarled Less-Hulking-Giant.

"I don't know what you're talking about," growled the Doctor. Though, in his defense, with a voice like this, everything must surely come out as a growl.

A stand off began, Less-Hulking-Giant staring intensely at the Doctor (it was pretty unsettling actually. Who stared at people like that?), while The-Hulkingest-Giant-Of-Them-All looked between them in concern.

Suddenly, a loud vwoorping noise filled the room, and the Doctor felt joy in his heart! The TARDIS had found him! Except that when she did finally appear and his own body came stumbling out, there was a black cloud of smoke billowing from behind him.

"Sam, Dean! Do not trust that man!" the Doctor's body called out.

Less-Hulking-Giant and The-Hulkingest-Giant-Of-Them-All looked at the Doctor's body and then at the Doctor himself, obviously confused. The Doctor didn't blame them. He was fairly confused himself (though he was no longer confused about their names, so... plus. Aside from not knowing which was which).

"Who the hell are you!?" smaller-Sam-or-Dean demanded of the Doctor's body.

The Doctor's body glared at smaller-Sam-or-Dean, obviously miffed. "I'm Castiel, you assbutt!"

Both Sam-or-Deans looked at each other, shrugged, and said, "Yeah, definitely Cas."

Taller-Sam-or-Dean (or Not-Assbutt) returned his attention to Castiel-in-the-Doctor's-Body. "So... if you're Cas, then... who is this guy?" He pointed his thumb at the Doctor.

"That is Angry-Accented-Man," Castiel-in-the-Doctor's-Body responded.

Assbutt pulled a disbelieving face. "What?"

"I am in his vessel, and he is in mine," explained Castiel-in-the-Doctor's-Body.

While Assbutt continued staring as though he  _just did_ _ **not**_ _have time for this_ , Not-Assbutt asked, "How did this happen?"

_And wasn't that the million dollar question!?_


End file.
